Thursday, November 12, 2009

Time to Lay the Burden Down

Argh. Don't you hate it? You are teaching in class about the Way of Christ and you inadvertently touch upon a subject you know that God has been prodding you in the back of your mind.

Carry one another's burdens and in this way fulfill the law of Christ.

So, it's not what you may think. It's about spiritual pride for me. For years while we were on the mission field we believed that God would always provide for us. And he always has. Always. We would tell people about the field. Report on our successes and our failures. And trust that God would provide financially. And it was awesome. We didn't depend on flashy newsletters to get our support. We didn't have to call people or make appointments or send out envelopes. And it became a matter of pride. That we don't have to do what every one else does. God takes care of us! As if everyone else just does it for themselves.

So today, we were talking about how of course we don't need to pray. God already knows. Of course we don't have to worry about tomorrow. God's in control. And all you have to do is lay your burden down at the foot of the cross. He's already on it.

But that's not the intent of prayer. We are brought into fellowship with God when we communicate our desires and concerns in prayer. It's a privilege he affords us. He is in control because he is sovereign and he could rain down manna from heaven on a whim. Yet his exact design for us, while perplexing, is still the optimum way for us to live. So, my point?

My pride inhibits me from asking others to carry my burdens. I believe God could, can and should provide for me since I am serving him in a full time volunteer capacity in recruiting for the harvest. Yet, today I was confronted with this verse... to not carry one another's burdens is to not fulfill the law of Christ. I won't let someone carry my burden. God could. But he wants us to rely on each other too. So well...

The past two years has seen increased ministry expenses as we endeavor to develop Harvesters International. Our medical bills and expenses following the accident have depleted any and all reserves. We have had some special offerings and surprises along the way yet we are having a difficult time with our monthly responsibilities. A few churches have discontinued support since we are not technically 'on the field'. However, we believe that God is wanting us where we are as over 100 recruits have been sent from Central since 2003. We have been praying for his provision, thankful for what he continues to do... yet wondering why all of our needs are not being met. We have gone against his will for our lives by allowing ourselves to get in debt... making those decisions not believing that God could provide any other way nor giving him the chance. Our debt convicting us that we will never choose that again. And now, we are convicted that our pride, my pride has not allowed me to share the real issue with our churches, our friends, our family. So, this is our burden. I don't want to share this. I don't want to depend on anyone but God. Yet, I am being convicted that the Lord desires our burden to be shared. We don't believe we deserve it and that there are more lessons to be learned. Yet, we have cried out to God and now follow what I taught today in class... to carry one another's burdens, means to share our burdens. Sigh.